We Have Two Lives

Check out a truly inspiring post by Coach Jason.  Thanks, Jason, for sharing this with us.
 “We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.”
  – Confucius
Today marks the 10 year anniversary of my brother, Brian, dying in a car accident.  Brian always dreamed of having kids and the type of father he would become, but he was never able meet his daughter, Addy, who was born seven months after his death.  I have had the honor of watching my niece, and goddaughter, become a gymnasty, spunky 9 year old.  Having known him, I always want to make sure she knows how much her father looked forward to being her dad.
Brian had this conception of himself before kids and after kids, like suddenly everything just changes.  For those of us who have kids, we can attest life is certainly different once you’re responsible for another being in this world.  How you never knew you could love someone so much or try to make someone else truly enjoy life?  The capacity you have really comes out, but did you really change?
We all can fall into this idea that once this happens, then I will…  This might be some lavish idea of a trip to a country you’ve always wanted to visit or it might be as simple as getting your first strict pull-up.  Or, it could be saying you’re not going to drink and drive anymore after you have kids.  We start to see our lives as events that will allow us to change.  For instance, I’m sure many of us have dreams of what we’re going to do once we retire, when the kids move away to college or even the vacation we might take when we no longer pay for daycare.
The issue with waiting for this or that is we can’t predict what else will happen over time and time is the one thing we can’t get back.
We all have visions of who we are going to be and what we are going to do in the future, but what are you doing to get there, today?  Our lives are one continuous existence with daily opportunities to be better and yes, get stronger.  Yet, we all want the bliss of transformation without the inconvenience of working to get there.  Instead of looking forward to that second life we envision, we need to make daily deposits into the one life we actually have today.  If you want to learn about something, take a half hour every day and read about it.  Dreaming of a trip?  Move $20 a week into a savings account until you have enough to just go.  Want a strict muscle up?  Build to where you can do 5 strict pull-ups and 5 strict dips and come talk to a CFKI coach.
Over the last couple of years, I’ve allowed work at my main job to make me more and more stressed but assumed that once I got to the next level of my career, things would get easier.   Recently I was promoted, and my stress level only increased.  I had crossed that milestone and I was surprised by how quickly I began to look for the next step, as if that would ease my stress level.   I started to think about how things would be better with my next raise or even about retirement!  Then, I realized I was just waiting for an event to change me, rather than do something about it now, so I downloaded the Calm app and started meditating.  Meditation is my daily deposit to myself and to my family.  It’s slowly helping me keep focus, be okay with leaving things for tomorrow and hopefully become the father that I know my brother wished he could be.